I am MYSELF when...

Well look at that. Two posts in one day, check me out!! *does the bump* 

Today's prompt on blogher is to tell when and where do I feel most like myself. This is kind of a hard question to answer. I have never been asked a question like this before and in all honesty I don't even think I can answer it with just one place. I mean I do have places where I believe I am myself, but I don't think its any specific place, or a specific time. But in the interest of completing today's blog post here goes.  When and where do I feel most like myself?? I believe that it can be a multitude of places. I actually think that I am myself most of the time, but there are places where I feel truly free to let it all hang out and not care. 
                 I love when I'm home in my room sitting on my bed reading a book. I get so engrossed in the book that I lose track of time. When I'm in bed reading I don't get hungry, I don't hear anything and I don't know anyone. My boyfriend often says that my books take more of my time than he does. There is something about a book that puts me at ease. I become so connected with what I am reading that I get upset when I finish a book and I have to leave the characters behind. Sometimes I fall in love with the male characters in the stories. When I tell my bf about the character the look on his face is priceless.  Just a hint of jealousy there.  I am most myself when I can seriously get lost in a good book, a book that just takes me to a place that I have never been. A place where my imagination is uninhibited and I am able to just live
Then there is the confines of my classroom. Though the room isn't as large as my bedroom and there are about 34 other people in there with me well 35 if you include my co-teacher,  I feel like myself when I am in front of my students at school. I feel like I am providing a way for them to get ahead. I feel like I am that vessel that carries them from the unknown to worlds that they might have not imagined (can you tell I read a lot of books with that last line) I feel like when I am in the classroom I am not putting on a show for my students. I let them know who I am and where I am from and what I have endured and they get to know the real me. I don't have to fake it for them, as I know many teacher may have to do. In the classroom its about making positive connections with my students and I cannot do that if I'm faking it. I believe in being open and honest with them, and when my door is closed they get the real me, no additives or preservatives. 

Lastly, I also feel like I am most myself when I wake up and just lay in the bed and listen to nothing but my own breathing and the snoring of my boyfriend( he sounds like a mack truck rolling down the Jersey turnpike, don't tell him I told you.) I will just lay there and ponder on things that worry me or things that I am hopeful for. It is during those quiet times of the morning where I can truly get my thoughts together and feel like I am myself. I get to talk to God and I get to hear Brooklyn wake up and I get to be ME and only ME!
                      As people we all have different times and places where we are most ourselves. Sometimes its in the company of others or many and other times its just when you fall into reading a good book when you feel most like yourself. 
              Today's prompt was really hard to complete. I don't think I've ever been asked this question before, and I still don't think I answered it correctly, but oh well.

2 comments

CJ said...

It's not such an easy question to answer!! I am with you as well. I guess we feel ourselves when we feel safe. Great Post - thanks for commenting on my blog and look forward to reading more and connecting.

CJ

Riley J.J said...

CJ this is going to be a tough month. I thought talking about myself was going to be simple. I am so mistaken