all the IF's in the world...

I usually do not have any regrets, or should I say I really don't wonder about ex's much. I believe that once our relationship is over, and I've cried as much as I can and I have banished you to the part of my brain where you no longer exist there is no reason to wonder about you, or us, of if there could have been an us anymore because we are no longer together. Its my whole healing process mentality.

So I find it strange that this morning as I was warming up my car to take my mom to work my ex-boyfriend and his fiance walk right in front of my car and down the block to their destination. Out of NO WHERE!!!  Why today of all days.. ugh..

How do I know its his fiance well first she had a rock on her left hand, and there was an incident that occurred on New Years Eve,  but that's another story for me to tell you guys another time. Yet, there he was all talk, dark and handsome walking with his equally beautiful girl ( I don't hate on girls.. well... not all the time anyway, but she was cute) And it got me to wondering.. what if he and I had stayed together and not had the most stupid fight that ended our relationship. 

Why was I thinking this? I really don't know... wait I DO know.. I miss being in a relationship and its getting warmer and again I miss being in a relationship but, I digress. Anyway, I thought about him and I and our on again off again 5 year stint. He was no good for me, a constant liar who I knew I could never trust because the words that came out of his mouth were often tall tales that I would later find out to be tall tales. 

He and I first dated when I was 19 or was I 20... either way I was a lot younger than I am now and it was a whirl wind experience that lead to me finding out somethings that changed how I viewed what men say to me. During our dating, he was like my best friend. He would be there for me through everything and we talked about everything. He would help me with homework, and would let me go to his house when he wasn't there. His mom and sister would cook for me, and I loved being family. I thought that everything would work out and he and I would end up together in marital bliss.. but all that came to a screeching halt when he and I broke up over the most silliest of reasons,  the reason well it was about going to see his mom at the hospital because she was having TRIPLE BYPASS SURGERY. Yeah you read right.. she was having TRIPLE BYPASS SURGERY and this morrafukka didn't want to let me go and see her.. (ugh what an idiot I was not to have seen the signs)

Now at this time I didn't see the issue in wanting to see her especially since she had known me for all these years and loved me like I was her daughter.. but what I later found out was that he was dating someone else and didn't want his mom to relay this message to me so to keep me from going he got upset and then broke up with me.  Nice right?!? I cried for what seemed like an eternity. I even became one of those stalker ex-girlfriends who would call and leave msgs asking him to call me back, and saying that whatever I did I was sorry for, and that we could work it out. All to no avail. He was done with me... (again why am I thinking about the ifs?? Bare with me here) 

But, what if things had worked out.. where would we be today? If he and I had worked it out would we still be? If I had gone to see his mother anyway would she have told me? If I wasn't so gullible and naive would it had been better? If we had broken up long before we hit 5 years would I ever wonder about him again? If he had never walked by my car would I even be writing this blog?

All these If's make me think about this song from Trey Songz..  its how I feel about this situation right now.. IF?!?





    

11 comments

Hung Nguyen said...

hello, nice to meet u. Visit my blog and download many film and video training for u. Thank you!

Charmante said...

What a lovely post... I hope you find somebody else so that you can stop all these ifs because I am sure you deserve it!

Rhapsody B. said...

blessings.......
Some ifs are just fleeting and I believe this is what this was, a fleeting moment that will pass like a fart (excuse my language). Base on the little you wrote here I would say that you are difinately better off without. Any relationship witout trust is garbage, a waste of your time, energy and focus. Who he is based on character and whatever he did with you he will do with her. Leopards don't change their spots. Some relationships are only for a time, his time has passed.

stay blessed and please remember your excellence and greatness and never settle for crumbs when you can have the whole loaf.

Peace....

hapi said...

Hi Liryc's pRHOfyle (Ms.Liryc), Nice blog! How to add the Glitter Effect Mouse Pointer to your Blog

Amber said...

I always think about the ifs and wish I didnt! We will all learn there is no point one day :) x

ily said...

I like the way you write, it's a very nice blog :)

~A~ said...

I am one to believe that EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING happens for a reason. He broke up with you for a dumb reason but really what he was doing was spearing you what have been a life time of pain had you guys not broke up and you went on try to make it work. Look at this as a blessing. Now, your ex has a fiance but he created a mess in your life...no good for YOU and maybe no good for her either. Move on, lesson learned.

Liryc's pRHOfyle (Ms.Liryc) said...

I really need to get back into writing. Life had taken over for so long that I neglected my blog. I should be back in the new year. Put it into my schedule so that I have time to express my thoughts. Thanks for leaving messages on this blog. I really appreciate it!

La costurera de mis caprichos said...

Omg your blog it's amaizing! I know how you feel... I belive that you'll find someone for you, there's always somebody just around the corner. Lucky!

Virginia (Jenny) said...

Ohh, this brings me back to my dating days and the heartbreaks of it. I've been married 13 years but before my husband I dated a guy for 5 years. That is a long time to date someone and then have it cut off. It is not easy to get over something like that. It just takes time and only time can heal that. Hope you are blessed with a wonderful relationship soon. :)

Vivian said...

Beautiful songs,it is nice!
mother of the bride suits