You can't choose your family but...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The saying is that you can't choose your family but you can always choose your friends and when you do choose please choose wisely. But, what happens when you wish that you could choose your family? Or when your friends treat you, and care for you more than your family would? What happens then?
Yesterday, after a day of being grossed out by the most annoying person (see my FB status) I had a long drawn out conversation with one of my students.
One of the jobs of being an educator is that you are also a counselor to your students and you have to always be there to listen. But, moving along...I have been watching this young lady and I noticed how angry she has been. She always seems like she's at odds with everyone and yesterday after speaking to one of her friends she decided to talk to me and explain why she's been so angry.
The girl hates and I use this term just as harsh as she did.. she HATES her mother and her family members. I know many of you have this puzzled look on your face, and I know that I did also. I asked myself, "how can someone hate their mother?" How can someone just say that about the person that carried them for 10 months, its impossible. I initially thought that she meant that she was unhappy with her mother but after her explanation I found out that it wasn't an unhappiness she had with her mom, the girl had genuine hate for her mother.
Her take on this is that her mother had 3 kids by 3 different fathers knowing that these men would not be in their lives after they were born. She feels that her mother should've known better than to keep having children with men who were there for a moment instead of a lifetime. She tells me in minor details the problems she has with her mom, her main point is that her mother is selfish. "What mother would rather spend time with her girlfriends instead of her 3 children? The anger is so intense that as she's telling me why she's been the way has she has a tinge of sadness in her voice. My student harbors so much hate that it makes her seem so removed and unhappy when at this age in life she's supposed to be enjoying the moments of being a H.S. senior.
I remember my senior year, my concern at this time was graduating and prom and finding a date but this girl its finding a job so that she can buy a coat so she won't freeze when the winter months come. I want to tell her that things are going to be ok, and that she should go to college away so that she can do things for herself, but I can't. I can't give that advice to her because its not my place to tell her that. I tell her that college will be different, I say that if she plans to go away things maybe different and many of my friends have done it. But she says that she can because she wants to take care of her little brother because her mother seems not to want to do that.
How does someone's family make them more upset than their friends. I know that some friends are family. I know that sometimes when things go wrong it is a friend that comes to the rescue but I am just shocked that this is happening to such a young girl. These kids of ours have to be protected, and if its not the ones who carried them in their womb who wants to protect them, who will?
There is a fine line when it comes to teaching, and I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but I don't want to leave her hanging because she did come to me to talk. I want to help her in any way I can... but first the initial thing I know I will do is FIND THIS GIRL A JOB and a COAT!
Family, can't choose them so what to do with them?
Posted by Nellz J.J at 9:24 PM