You can't choose your family but...


The saying is that you can't choose your family but you can always choose your friends and when you do choose please choose wisely. But, what happens when you wish that you could choose your family? Or when your friends treat you, and care for you more than your family would? What happens then?

Yesterday, after a day of being grossed out by the most annoying person (see my FB status) I had a long drawn out conversation with one of my students.

One of the jobs of being an educator is that you are also a counselor to your students and you have to always be there to listen. But, moving along...I have been watching this young lady and I noticed how angry she has been. She always seems like she's at odds with everyone and yesterday after speaking to one of her friends she decided to talk to me and explain why she's been so angry.

The girl hates and I use this term just as harsh as she did.. she HATES her mother and her family members. I know many of you have this puzzled look on your face, and I know that I did also. I asked myself, "how can someone hate their mother?" How can someone just say that about the person that carried them for 10 months, its impossible. I initially thought that she meant that she was unhappy with her mother but after her explanation I found out that it wasn't an unhappiness she had with her mom, the girl had genuine hate for her mother.

Her take on this is that her mother had 3 kids by 3 different fathers knowing that these men would not be in their lives after they were born. She feels that her mother should've known better than to keep having children with men who were there for a moment instead of a lifetime. She tells me in minor details the problems she has with her mom, her main point is that her mother is selfish. "What mother would rather spend time with her girlfriends instead of her 3 children? The anger is so intense that as she's telling me why she's been the way has she has a tinge of sadness in her voice. My student harbors so much hate that it makes her seem so removed and unhappy when at this age in life she's supposed to be enjoying the moments of being a H.S. senior.

I remember my senior year, my concern at this time was graduating and prom and finding a date but this girl its finding a job so that she can buy a coat so she won't freeze when the winter months come. I want to tell her that things are going to be ok, and that she should go to college away so that she can do things for herself, but I can't. I can't give that advice to her because its not my place to tell her that. I tell her that college will be different, I say that if she plans to go away things maybe different and many of my friends have done it. But she says that she can because she wants to take care of her little brother because her mother seems not to want to do that.

How does someone's family make them more upset than their friends. I know that some friends are family. I know that sometimes when things go wrong it is a friend that comes to the rescue but I am just shocked that this is happening to such a young girl. These kids of ours have to be protected, and if its not the ones who carried them in their womb who wants to protect them, who will?

There is a fine line when it comes to teaching, and I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but I don't want to leave her hanging because she did come to me to talk. I want to help her in any way I can... but first the initial thing I know I will do is FIND THIS GIRL A JOB and a COAT!

Family, can't choose them so what to do with them?

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

Today is my 28th Birthday!!



woohoo!!

Stay tuned for pictures and other surprise randomness that will happen today!

To do or NOT to do!! Internet Dating!!!

I remember going out on a date with a guy I met over a phone chat thing years ago ( I want to say maybe 4 or 5 years.) He and I had linked on this phone thing that my bestie had introduced me to. I was bored (yeah you know the drill) and I called and we connected and talked and we thought that it would be good to finally come together and meet up. When we met for the first time I was so disappointed.

Back in those days the first questions asked on a chat was age/and how do you look. Home boy told me was 5'10 brown skin and built. He stated that he worked out and was an avid gym goer. But the day I MET HIM.... Jesus be a video-recorder!! He didn't look like he said he looked. Homey ended up being 5'3 (shorter than I am) and he wasn't as nice as he was on the phone.. To add insult to injury he was just head and shoulders (NO NECK) then he was rude when we were walking in the street. I had no doubt that he probably wasn't interested in me, as much as I was disinterested in him, but hey no reason to be a D**k about it, but again that was some years ago...

Fastfoward to today 2009.. The internet has become THE way to find that person that you hope to be your "soul-mate," "bedroom buddy," or "bf/gf for right now!" After my last encounter with Mr. Head (thats what he will be refered to now) I became a skeptic of finding love over the net or even over the phone. I heard recently that Essence Atkins (Half and Half) got married to this man that she met off of Match.com Really?? I would've never thought that a hollywood superstar... (well a used to be hollywood superstar) would need help in finding a man, but again its 2009 and times have gotten tough on just about everyone so eh, why not here.. yet and still I'm a skeptic...

So, my friend met this guy on the internet. She didn't sign up on a dating site, she met him because he mailed her to ask about something with his admissions application. She works at a prestigous university and he was seeking admissions for his Masters and emailed to ask her about the follow up. She emailed him instantly and thats where their internet fling began.

The emails turned to a phone call, and then it went back to emails. She tells me that they'd email each other every day. She'd send him little notes through out the day just to say hello. He did the same. He spoke about them meeting up to go out on a date, and wining and dining a lot of good things being exchanged b/w the two of them.

They make plans to go out because the suspense of meeting is killing them. She says that they exchange pictures and stuff over the net (ahh the perks of technology) they like what they see and decide to meet up soon. The emails continue and what not then all of a sudden BLAM... no more emails. She says she went away because there was something that needed to be done with the family, but she still kept in contact. When she gets back to work the emails have ceased. No more phone calls either. She decides to call him, and he doesn't pick up. She sends him email and he doesn't respond. Now my friend says that she's over guys for right now. She doesn't want to deal with any right now. She's a bit heart broken because of this dude. She says she will never try to internet date again. Now I know that she doesn't mean that because she will try again, she's just going through the motions but I'm thinking... can you really find love over the net???

Still a skeptic!!

But as I am getting older! My birthday is TOMORROW, I do want to find love.. should I make that jump and at least give it an actual TRY???