Sunday, September 27, 2009
Its been a while since I've gone to church. Ok, honestly its a little over 5 months.. Alright, let me be honest.. I haven't stepped foot into a church since Easter and we all know when that was right.. But, I do believe in God and know that he's real and understand that he longs for me to worship him in his home. Lately I've been feeling that my place of worship has lost its spunk, its zeel.. I've been feeling out of touch with the place that I've called home since I came to this country 23 years ago. I've made so many excuses as to why I haven't gone to church I tell people I will go, but I have to find a new place to worship. Then I'd stay home and do nothing (like I did today) So I've come to the conclusion that I just need to get up and go find a new church or I just need to get over my stupidity and just go back to feed my spirit.
I am born and raised Catholic, have done all the sacraments and love my faith. I've been saved because he loves me, and I love him. Many people believe that being saved requires you to change religions, but that's the furthest from the truth. Being saved means that you acknowledge who God is and understand his unfathomable presence in your life, and you make Him the CENTER of everything that you do. That's what being saved means. I just have to find my way into his SAVING GRACE.. its taking me some time to get back on my feet with that but slowly I rise up. Like Donnie McClurkin sings "A saint is just a sinner who fell down, and then got up."
I didn't make it to church today, though my church gives you many chances to go throughout the day, I just slept. When my mom got home we had a talk. We spoke about God and his presence in our lives. I told her about a weird dream I had and it came to me.. I miss going to church. I miss hearing the sermons and the readings. I miss learning and delving into my bible and finding meaning to a sometimes meaningless thing. I miss understanding new meanings to a passage that I've read a million times over. I miss how my spirit felt fed when I left my church. I miss how I would tell people how different my church was from other Catholic churches. How much fun I had and how I danced to the drums and the guitars and how the choir sounded magnificent. In all honesty I can say it I Missed going to church....
So next Sunday this sinner will definitely get up!