New York is the worst place to meet a man


A couple of weeks (maybe about 3 or so ago) on Tyra the Millionaire Matchmaker stated that NYC was the worst place to meet a man. Though I didn't particularly watch the episode some of my friends posted the interview on a list serv and we openly discussed what she said. She states that NYC ratio of women to men is 5:1! Really!?! There is a big shock.. (insert sarcasm) This I already knew, while sitting outside on the steps of my job I take notice of how many women to men there are walking on 5th Ave. There are some very handsome men out there but if you are looking to see a whole slue of them lunch hour is the best time to catch them. But before we got to the nitty gritty of the "NYC is the worst place to meet a man" many of my friends were thinking that the millionaire matchmaker was right on the money.


Our discussion first went this way.

Friend1 : I agree, it is so hard to find a man in New York

Friend 2: Oh hell yeah, here are too many women out there and not enough guys to go around

Friend 3: I think I need to move out of New York to meet a marrying man!

Friend 4: Its not hard to meet men in New York, you guys are just way to damn picky

Insert instant :: NO THATS NOT TRUE REMARKS....RIIGHT HERE!!

Then you had many of my friends that agreed with "friend 4" and said that the problem wasn't meeting the man, the problem was finding a man that suited you and a man who would want to be in a committed relationship was what was the main problem. Many of us meet men on the regular, weather it be on the train, walking to Starbucks, or Dunkin Donuts for coffee, at the gym, work, everywhere and anywhere.. we meet men in an enormous amount of places, but how many of these men are you actually interested in? How many of these men grab your attention where you think he can be boyfriend material or even husband material? Chances are that that number is slim to none. But, why is that.. why is it that we're not interested in some of the guys that we meet @ random?

On any given day you come into contact with load (yes I said loads) of men, some you find handsome, or sexy or just fuccable (pardon the harsh word) there are some you find attractive and others you wouldn't give the time of day because of something, or nothing. But all in all you meet men in this great city @ random so easily. But why is it that living in NY is so hard on women when it comes to dating? Why are the men that we would want to date seem to be non-existent. Is it because there are so many women out there that men don't want to settle down with just one? Are there so few and far in between single males in the city that we are just to sit and just be seconds to someone else man? Is it true that NYC is the worst place to find a man??

I know that in ATL there almost NO straight men so I can understand the scarcity of relationship material but seriously NYC???

Like many of my females living in this city, I've had my fair share of horrible dates and crazy boyfriends. I've met some men that I thought were boyfriend material and others that I wouldn't give a second glance at. But I don't think that this is the worst place to meet a man, I would say that it is the hardest. There are too many women in this city. SO many women here so I can see how men can be indecisive when it comes to finding one to be with but that's why you must make yourself more desirable than the others.

For those of you who live here, would you say that living in NY makes it harder to meet a man? Do you believe that NYC is the worst place to meet a man?

Let me know your experiences and your thoughts.

11 comments

Ms. Behaving said...

I'm from NY and agree with you wholeheartedly in that living in NYC DOES NOT make it harder to meet a man.

Granted the ratio of women to men is pretty high but I happen agree with friend #4 who thinks some women are just too picky!

I mean think about it for a sec...
Women staaaaaaay talkin bout:

He gotta be foine...
He gotta be pushin' a hot whip...
He gotta have that GOOOOOD job...
Be making GOOD money...
He gotta be willing to spend it on us...
Gotta have his own place...
I don't want a man with kids...
He can't be TOO nice but he can't be no damn thug either...
He gotta have a nice package...

YADDA...YADDA...YADDA

That's not to say we women SHOULDN'T set the bar/aim high but we should DEFINITELY be a little bit more realistic and less materialistic.

Hell I can't speak for the next chick but IMO having a man with MOST of the qualities you're looking for sho' beats the hell outta not having one @ all.

**Sorry for the post within your comment section [LOL] This topic done got me worked up!**

Crankyputz said...

I don't know the T-Dot is seeming to be the hardest place to meet a decent fella these days.

I think its actually North America. The values are different. Where I grew up people were expected to get married, so at a certain age, men and women were open to the idea. Here everyone is conditioned to getting what they want,thus many of us end up living all alone...

Ms. Liryc said...

Ms. Behaving I agree with you 100 percent.. i cannot say how much I agree with you..we do have these standards that we place on men, that make us not have a man.. sometimes we just have to go with the flow and understand he isn't perfect and that though we may want perfection its not attainable.. oh and no worries about the comment, you are 100% correct

cranky.. I can relate.. being haitian I am way passed the marrying age.. @ 27 I am supposed to be living with my husband and our 4 kids by now.. but I'm not.. I think too much emphasis is placed on what we should do at this age instead of living life to the fullest.. but the scarcity of men up here is real. we have to learn to bend sometimes, it can't be about what we want all the time have to make some changes and then we wouldn't end up alone.

Ladynay said...

Never been in NY long enough to give an opinion on this.

Blu Jewel said...

When I moved to the U.S from the U.K., I grew up in NoJo (North Jersey) roughly 15 mins from the George Washington Bridge so I spent a lot of time in NYC. I think while the ratio may be 5:1, the variety of men is multiplied. I like the options of races one has if they're not limited to their own.

I completely agree with Ms. Behaving's commnet. Women have become more and more shallow and are selling themselves out for looks, cars, and status; basically men who look good on paper. Then they find Mr. Looks Good on Paper has other women, major issues, and whatever crap that comes out of the closet.

There's an expression, "how empty of me to be so full of you", a lot of women need to consider that the next time they say what they want. They need to consider what's in THEM and what THEY'RE bringing to the table.

Love to live; live to love!

Somethin Special... said...

*co-signs* I think some of us chicks are a bit to picky. It is our downfall. And unfortunately so are some men. I think particularly our generation (the now 20s) are self-centered. And not necessarily in the bad way.. if that makes sense. We are all very ME focused. And so that whole marriage/family thing is an enigma. Its unfortunate but by the time we allr each those elderly years it will be us alone. Nobody to even put us in a nursing home Dag... lol

ShellyShell said...

I know I'm late! I live in Brooklyn now and have for the past four years. I went to school here and left for a few years in between that I've lived in Houston, Richmond, Va, and DC. I would say by far NYC has been the worst dating place! I believe the ratio of men to women is higher in DC then NYC but I usually met quality men there! I'm not extremely picky but there are some things I expect.
Not living with your mom
College educated
Not a boat load of children
Goes to church
Those are just a few things and i don't think they're over the top!
I always say I need to move back to DC so my dating pool will be better! LOL!

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hi there,

There are lots of high caliber men in NY but they don't hang out at the places where most would guess...

Black women are not hardly "too picky"....

Trust.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

Luvvie said...

One of my friends has lived in NYC for 3 yrs and her constant complaint is that New York men are either gay (it's like San Fran 2.0) or not wanting anything but EFF buddies. For shame

Kelly Nina Kiyyah said...

I think finding a man is hard in general... at least when it comes to finding a "good" one. The ratio of men to women is crazy and NY of all places has some pretty fierce competition. It's a dog eat dog kinda world!

~Nina of *AF* girls
www.theafgirls.com

lepetitvolcan said...

I've noticed that women in NYC are quite standoffish about men. I'm new to New York from Cali and I normally have men lining up to buy me drinks at bars. I am smiley and flirty and have no problem initiating conversations with guys. Even if I am not attracted to a guy, I feel that if I am in a social event, everyone is worth talking to, on a friendly, getting to know you level. If a guy approaches me who I never would dream of dating, he is still a human being that I can chat with, at least for awhile, if he approaches in a friendly, non threatening, or sleazy manner. If he is rude, i excuse myself quickly and go elsewhere, but I am still very nice and friendly, and at the best, I get a friend out of it. I was at a social mixer event the other day and I was asking this one guy why men seem shy to approach women in NYC. Pretty much the guy tells me that the men are afraid of being shot down, so often they dont approach girls. At that same event there were several very beautiful women hanging out together in tight knit cliquish groups. None of them tried to talk to any of the men there or even smiled at them. They all just sat there looking snobbish, waiting for a man to make the first move, and probably would be very quick to dismiss him if his approach wasn't to their satisfaction. Then women complain why they can't find a good man! She puts in zero effort besides her looks to make herself approachable! Even if a woman looks like a supermodel, if she is sending off a chilly "I'm too good for the world" vibe, and just waits for the perfect man to come into her life,she'll be waiting forever. Pretty girls especially seem to take heed of this because men are 10 times more intimidated to approach them than a more average looking girl. If you see a guy who piques your interest even a little, smile, be friendly, initiate conversations, look at men as potential friends, not necessarily boyfriends or life partners right away. If something more happens, great, if not, you have a new friend. Men want to get to know women who make them feel at ease, not pressure them to get serious right away. There are good men in NYC, I think the reason women strike out is due the way they see guys rather than there being a shortage of good men.