I am a strong believer in God, anything you ask will always have an answer that leads back to God and having him first, but as of late last year I have found that my bond with him has faltered. I know its not his fault its mine, and mine alone and I have yet to reconcile that. I haven't gone to church like I should, and I haven't been reading my bible as I used to. I do talk to him, but not as much as I used to, (God and I used to have these long talks about everything, and yes he answers back, that voice isn't your conscious telling you things its him.. listen carefully)
I went to a retreat with my mom this past sunday after spending the night partying it up with friends, needless to say I was exhausted. When I got home from the party on Sunday morning I had enough time to change my shirt and my shoes and hop on a bus to head to an all day long spiritual retreat. I was upset and tired and aggravated. I wanted to know why I was the one that always had to go and why my other cousins couldn't go? I behaved like a child and I was being a brat, I was all for losing my $40 that I paid to go on this trip. I huffed and puffed but got on the bus, I went to the retreat and I fell in love by the end of the day, exhaustion aside I was glad that I went.
Do you ever wonder how many times God is going to give a sinner like us a chance to make things right? How many time is he going to welcome us with open arms until he's tired of our saying sorry and turning around and doing something else that's so stupid? I know he's a forgiving God and loving father, but you ever wonder when he's had enough of our lame attempts of doing things right, and just failing? Or is it just me?
I witnessed a lot of great things at this retreat. I feel a stronger bond with God, I feel that I will be getting back to my ways of prayer reading. ( To really hear God speak, try writing down what you have to say to him, and see what he says back to you.. when you write down what he says and read it back to yourself, you'll be pleasantly surprised) I prayed and cried and felt good afterwards, I needed that release and I'm glad I got it. When it was time for us to leave the church grounds I felt uplifted and weightless... I know its going to take some time before I go back to going to church and reading my bible, but I know one thing is for sure.. MY GOD, OUR GOD, loves me beyond words, and I LOVE HIM through it all... and though I may fall a million and one times, I know he'll be there to receive me a million and one times.. I just have to try harder...
With easter on Sunday, I want to tell you, all of you who have strayed a bit from our father, give him a ring.. he's always there to pick up and he's always there to listen to you whenever you have a problem or just to talk, and one thing for sure, he keeps all your secrets.
Just get up! Don't stay down... GET UP!!!
Live in Love, cause GOD is LOVE!!
Have a wonderful easter!