He's just not that into me




He's just not that into you came out a couple of years ago and I didn't get a chance to read it, and the movie came out a couple of weeks ago and I didn't get the chance to see it, that is until today

I was at the office having a great day, just relaxing cause the boss and supervisor were at their training classes, so it gave me idle time to watch the movie. I sat there at my cubicle and watched and listened and heard and paid close attention to the movie, and I realized this about the relationships and dates that I've been and went on and I've come to realize that, "They weren't that into me" and that is OK!

Case and point, I remember briefly telling that I went on a date a couple of weeks ago. DJ (as we'll call him) is a very good friend of a very good friend of mine. I met him last year and thought he was a handsome man, he was poised and intelligent and attractive, all the things that you may like about a man. I didn't ask for his number then, but something made me tell my friend that I was interested. So, she gave him my number and I got his also.

I was going to wait on him to call but I said to myself, hey self its 2009 and women are liberated and are as equal as men as per my previous post, and I said why not call him. So I did. I called him and we spoke for about 4 hours, thought that it was a good sign. Thought that this meant potential. So, my friend told me about a cheap date, so I asked him, and he agreed and we went to this museum thing near "MOMA." I was excited, thought that I made an impression that this could be great, but before I started thinking of the names of our first 4 children, and thinking about the destination for our wedding and what our china patterns were going to look like I braced myself for our date. I thought that I'd just take it one step at a time and that the date would be great and my friend would be the reason... yeah I know I got way ahead of myself, but honestly I know that I am not the only one.. am I??

Anywho, we met up after work and we went to the museum, culture right? I thought this was a mild stepping stone, something easy to start off with. Then he took me to dinner, good way to add on to our museum outing. We ended up going to this cuban restaurant and the conversation was just flowing, it seemed to be a good look, or at least that was what I was reading into it. The night ended with us parting and him saying he'd call me later and blah blah blah.

That was 3 weeks ago. I first thought that "hey he's a busy guy, and he probably has too many things on his plate" (Mistake #1) Then I got up the courage and called him myself to see how he was (Mistake #2), and then he said he'd call me back and has yet to and I made an excuse like "he probably lost my number" (Mistake #3)

According to the book ( That I got from the library and instantly checked out) He's not into me. And that is ok! What I realize is that some women (including myself) make excuses for guys and their lack of interest in us. We shouldn't have to find reason for him not calling and reason for him not asking us out. If he's not interested then thats just it, "He's not interested," period end of story, good night and have a safe trip and no amount of excuses that you make for him will have him become interested in you. Thought it might be common knowledge or unsaid knowing what I realized from reading and watching the movie that if a guy is interested, it doesn't matter what he's doing or where's going or how "busy" he is, he is going to make time for you if "he's INTO you."

I read that if a man wants to be with me he going to go out of his way to find me, even if it means hunting down our mutual friends to get to me. If he's really into me, then there is no such thing as being too "busy" to pick up a phone and dial, that if he likes me, he's going to make sure that I know, cause a phone call is more personal than an email and he'll make it his business to get to speak to me, and I mean make it his BUSINESS, cause a man will go after you if he is interested!

So, to wrap this post up I've realized this DJ isn't into me, bar keep is not into me either...and that is fine. I am not going to be everyone's cup of tea, this I know and fully can deal with. And that "busy" line is bullshyt... a man will go after something he wants "ALWAYS"

So, I continue on with my life.

What I take from this book is this, and I hope you who read this post take this too : "There is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot, or beg anyone to ask us out. We're fantastic."

That I am! Ladies and gentleman THAT I AM!!

6 comments

Somethin Special... said...

Girl you aint never lied. That was SO the truth I both reads the book and saw the movie awhile ago and a number of other good reads and have since adopted a Show N Prove (Blog coming soon to a computer near you) theory to all future dating. If dude likes me and wants to holla at the kid he won't even have to say it. He will show it and he will Prove it. Thats all I'm going on. So far so very good and very little drama or BS to deal with. **insert thumbs up sign here**

Ms. Liryc said...

I am so glad that I saw that movie today. Cause if I hadn't I'd still be making up excuses, and we both know what excuses are!!

I am not even going to stress it, just move on and wait, its bound to happen.. sooner than later I hope but I'm waiting!

Mr.Slish said...

You know men have that this problem, but instead of making up excuses we turn into STALKERS!!!

Ms. Liryc said...

lol @ slish... Yeah I know about the stalkers. I'm ok, I rather not have any of those anymore! I'm ok.

MsKnowitAll said...

If he's not into it's because he's a fool and whatever his reasons are, you are better off without him & his b.s. I always say that if a man doesn't call, then I thank him rather than get mad because he if does call, he'd probably say something stupid and I'd end up pissed.

I agree, you don't have to make excuses for a man or come on strong to get his attention.
When the right one comes along, you'll know it, even without referring to this book.

JSADTheKing said...

I adopted the same attitude toward woman when I was dating, not that they were not calling but in a different way. If your to busy kicking with your soro sisters for the umteenth time hey your not into me. lol. @MsKnowitAll stop polluting her she has the right Idea its not personal when a dude does this he's just not into you. Goodpost.