Mom, Haters, and other Randomness
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Its the middle of the week, normally I don't have drama or stupidity running around, but today must've been bullshit Wednesday because everyone was in rare form.
While driving into work this morning, my mom and I have this disagreement about my attitude. she claims that as of late I've gotten to be so snappy with her. I don't think that I've gotten snappy, I just think that she shouldn't always be up under me to do things that I have already done. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother. She is the apple of my eye. The rock on which I have built my own foundation, but she can be the most annoying person on the face of this planet. I know some of you are probably saying, "how can you say that about your own mother?" While, there many others feel my pain because their mothers are similar to mine. So you can feel my pain. But, if you've lived with her you'd see what I meant. My mom is a caring person but she just doesn't know when to quit.
I have this priest that knows my family really well, you can say that we're practically family and she heard from my aunt that he needed to speak to me. Now, on several occasions she reminded me to call him, I can understand the first 10 times she said it, because honestly I forgot so I appreciated the reminder, but then she decided to repeat it like 30 million times in 10 minutes and that got on my nerves and I snapped at her. I actually told her to go away and leave me alone. I usually tune her out but I was already having a bad day (forgot my metro card and cell phone at home) and she just got on my last nerve so I snapped at her.
She goes and tells my cousin that I disrespected her. Though it seems minor I just hate when she does things like that. Its like she expects my cousin to reprimand me because I snapped at her. Mind you my cousin is younger than I am by 4 years, but my mother has a tendency of telling everyone my business, and that is what makes me more upset. She feels as if she should just tell her whole family what happens b/w her and I and then I have my nosey and just as annoying aunts and uncles tell me that I need to be more respectful of my mother, and that she's going to have a heart attack and its going to be because of me. Let me tell you these family members are the most two faced people at times, because they are quick to tell me how overly protective my mom is. Now, seriously how old does she think that I am? You know at almost 27 I really don't want to live at home anymore, but I do want to continue to save for my home and this is the best way I know how. My mother is a pain in my behind, and I am going to have to deal with it until the time is right. Lord God give me the strength!
That same day I decided to wear a dress to work. I have never been a big fan of dresses (predominantly because I went to catholic school and those 8 years of dress uniforms made me sick and tired of skirts and dresses totally) but lately I've been wearing them, the dress was cute if I do say so myself and I loved the way that I looked in the dress. That morning on my daily morning breakfast break, my co-worker friends FP, and K were with me we decided to go into McDonald's to grab some eats since it was only a block up from the job. As K and I were talking and laughing I noticed something out the corner of my eye, at first I brushed it off, but then I noticed that as soon as K and I walked in these two young women staring at me. As a confident woman, I pay them no mind because I know I look good, and I don't care what they have to say, but its like "what the heck are you looking at?" I am not a person who likes to confront people but I was already aggravated and I didn't want to start any drama with these young women. K, noticed these two girls starring at me and stood in front of me. She didn't want them to look at me in the way that they were and she was ready to say something if one of them decided to get out of line. These young girls didn't know who they were messing with, K, wasn't the type of person you'd want to confront, though she has a smile on her face, she's the type to kick your ass and have no remorese about it. I tend to get a little ghetto and when I do, my true West Indian self tends to come out. I was trying to keep it in, but I know these girls didn't want a real Haitian cuss out, and I looked way too cute to have a foul mouth so I swallowed what I had to say and I let those two "DUSTY BROADS" stare. K and FP and I walked out and they were still staring, talk about HI HATER!!!
Why do women have to do that? Why must they give another woman the evil eye if she looks nice in what she is wearing? Why must it always be about who looks better and if I do look nicer than you do why must you roll your eyes and suck your teeth and mumble under your breath about me. Really WOMEN WHY???? Though I received ample amounts of compliments that day on my dress, it still bothered me that those two girls were looking at me with disgust, or envy. I think it was more envy and jealousy than anything else, but it made me mad and a bit self conscious the rest of the day. As I went home I began to think about why women acted the way that they did.
Living in NY where women outnumber men 7 to 1, I can see why some women are quick to throw those jealous stares at another womans way. I can recall on several occasions where even I gave someone an evil eye, not because she looked good in an outfit, but because she looked like a mess. I admire a well put together woman. A woman that looks nice and has on clothes that fit. I can compliment a woman on her style if I see it mimics my own, but when I see a young lady dressed as if she's about to walk down the street and sell herself it makes me upset. I want to go up to a girl like that and ask why must you dress like you're almost expecting to get picked up.
Don't get me wrong, I do have some short skirts and shorts, but there is a way of wearing them and not showing off too much skin. I think that if a woman knows her size she is able to appropriately wear her clothes without looking "whorish" then its all good!
I have seen my fair share of girls with jeans that are overly tight, where the rest of the skin just hangs on top, or the shirts that are a smedium, when she knows she's an extra-large. I mean really ladies.. WHY????? Whats with the muffin tops? IF you wear a size 16 there should be no reason why you're fitting your booty in a size 12. Wear your size!! I am a plus sized woman and I LOVE MYSELF, and just cause it was made in your size doesn't mean its for you. Screw that "If you're comfortable" crap! If you can't sit in your jeans then you shouldn't put them on. If you have to lay on the bed for your jeans to fit then, um hon. get a bigger size. As women our weight fluctuates and there are times when we aren't as small as we thought we were. Ok, enough of that ramble.
And lastly on this Wednesday, I have to say that I am fed up with my "friend!" He called me this past weekend and asked if I wanted to go out and spend some quality time. Now, I should've known better and told him no, but my feelings for him got the best of me and I went with it and said yes. BIG MISTAKE! He told me that he was coming from Long Island and would be by my apartment in another hour or two, well lets just say that its Wednesday and I still haven't heard from Ol' boy! Yes, its been 4 days and NOTHING! You think I'd learn! Nope, I'm a hopeless romantic and I believe that people are good. I should just realize that he's full of shit, and move on. As the day drudged on I was exhausted and fed up with just about everyone. My boss was getting on my nerves, my mom was pissing me off, and the guy that I liked did his disappearing trick again! But, suddenly out of no where I get a call from him and he wants to act like everything is peachy. NO NIGGAH its not! ( not a fan of the word but today it is needed) Don't act like you didn't have plans with me. You would think that these red flags would be an indication that he's not available to me. I finally realized that was what it was, he must not be available because no man, can just up and disappear like that without a trace. No man! Seriously. I cut him a new one, I flung out as many F' u and go F yourself as possible . I am too through (honestly this time) and he can go scratch! Thats it. I'm finished.
This day needs to just END! This has been the worst Wednesday EVER! What is going on!
Usually my Wednesday's are dull, mainly because no one really does anything on a Hump Day. But today, it was a bit extra for me. I couldn't wait for it to be Thursday! Just couldn't wait! Thank God this day is over. Amen~