TGIF


Friday, finally!!! I am so glad that the weekend is here. Time to relax unwind and catch a flick or two. Tonight is my date with my "friend" and I hope it goes well. I have the perfect outfit and the perfect set of heals (dude is 6'3, I need the height) we are going to go and see "Wanted" I have been so anxious to see this movie. I love me some Angelina Jolie. Work went well, had a small altercation with this one porter and had to put him in his place.

D, has an issue with my co-worker friend FP, and since FP and I are friends, D doesn't like me. Most people at the job would find this odd because I am such a nice person. Seriously, anyone who meets me cannot say one bad thing about me, well other than that I am overly hyper for a person my age. But D, doesn't seem to like me one bit. That's OK though, because I am not going to be liked by everyone, and that's OK. D, is what people around my neck of the woods would call 7:30, meaning he's kind of crazy. I don't know how that works out for time but in the hood that's what they call a crazy person. So, D, had to pick up the garbage from my office, I saw him walk in talk his idle chatter with my co-workers, then he just left. OH NO, he didn't just do what I thought he did..IMPOSSIBLE, did he just have the audacity? Yes he did, he had the audacity to pick up everyone else's but mine. I knew he was going to do that, but I was giving him the opportunity to prove me wrong. Unfortunately he didn't and left the office. I could've left it alone and not even bothered, but my trash was overflowing from the previous days papers, and I had to say something

If you know me, you would know that I am not a confrontational person. I don't bicker, I don't beef with people. I'm usually happy go lucky, but I had to check that at the door when it came to messing with Mr. 7:30. He had, had an altercation with a co-worker friend of mine, and just because I am friends with that person he decides to hold a grudge against me. I am fine by that, I wasn't made to be liked by everyone. It happens, not everyone is going to befriend me. I have come to accept that. But he was going to get a piece of my mind. I marched downstairs to where the porters were and saw him. I took him to the side and started telling him as I thought it was. I knew I caught him off guard because he looked stunned. Never has anyone heard me be mean or get it out with anyone at the job. Its not of my character, but he made me step outside of myself today with his antics. My other co-worker friend Drea had to come outside her office and ask what was going on. She couldn't believe it. She tells me later that it was a shocker to hear me talk the way I was talking because it was so unlike me, and she knew that if I was talking this way, that something had to be wrong. I told her and she said to be the bigger person and leave it alone.

By the end of the afternoon I was better, I had gotten over the mornings fiasco, I was beginning to be a bit apprehensive of the evenings plans. But I knew it was going to be the deal breaker. The make or break part of the whole "friendship!"

I'll let you all know what happened! Keep your fingers crossed that I cross over that threshold of being "homegirl" to "love interest"

Confident Woman



I was hanging out with a friend the other night and we were talking about traits in the opposite sex that we find to be very attractive. I gave him my list of what I found to me most sexy in a man. Number one was a sense of style. I like a man to be able to dress well, it doesn't have to be name brand designer wear, but man that can work what he wears no matter where he bought them from. Another attraction of mine is smell, I LOVE a good smelling man. He can come from a hard days work, but if he smells just as he did when he first left home I am so head over heals for him, and of course an INTELLIGENT man. I love a man that can stimulate my mind. A man that can converse with me on a multitude of levels and keep my interest without boring me.

I then asked my friend what he found to be sexy in a woman. And the first thing out of his mouth was a woman who was confident. Knowing my friend I thought it was going to be something shallow but he said "confidence" that wasn't something that I didn't expect him to say, normally he'd say oh big breasts or a fat ass, but he is actually taking our conversation seriously and said CONFIDENCE. Then he randomly listed what he thought made a woman attractive. In addition to confidence my friend said that he found an intelligent woman attractive, a woman who was goal orientated and motivated to move forward. A woman who would be right next to him as he made his way up the ladder of life, and not a woman who was going to hold him back ( I thought this couldn't be my friend, impossible, I have NEVER heard him talk this way, I almost wanted to tear up because he was finally growing up.) He said he loved a take charge type of woman, and a woman who could both hang with the men and the women, and knew how to transition between the two.

I had to ask him what kind of confidence was he speaking of? He stated that he didn't like the conceit kind of confidence nor the arrogant type, but when a woman was sure of who she was and knew that she had a sense of self pride and awareness. So I began to wonder, how can a woman be confident? Or rather what makes a confident woman?

Growing up, I was never the most confident young lady. I think it was due to the fact that I was always made fun of. Always, the darkest, and the shortest and lastly the roundest. Always will be the chunky girl of the group. Most of my teenage years were spent wondering if I was as pretty like my light skinned skinny friends, but as I got older I grew into my skin. I love all the fullness of my thighs and the deep arch of my back. I like that my arms are full and that my face is round, yet and still confidence wasn't there. Its taking me some time to shed those years of torment, but I'm learning. Some co-workers of mine say that I exude a sense of confidence about me, but in actuality its because I love to take pictures, and having supervisors who are also photographers is an added bonus. So that's why I am always in front of the camera. But, back to being confident.

How can someone who isn't confident learn to become confident? While doing some research (women and self confidence) I found that low self-confidence is learned and sometimes it takes unlearning the learned that can help you break out of your shell. It takes a lot of time and determination for a person, especially a woman to learn to become confident. BUT How do you go about learning to become a more confident woman or what makes a confident woman confident? What attributes must a woman posses for her to be considered confident?

Many of the women that I have come into contact with, who I think have that flair of confidence always stand tall. They never slump or hunch their backs. They are proud women. Women, who are educated and know where they are going in life. So I think a confident woman Stands Tall through everything. Though she maybe having a horrible day she will not show it to anyone. She will be as strong as if nothing has happened.

Another attribute that I deem as confidence is attitude. I think for a woman to be confident she needs to have a confident attitude. Not saying that you have to be a jerk and talk down to others, but have an attitude that shows that you're aware of who you are and what you stand for. The confident woman with an attitude doesn't apologize for her stand on anything, she doesn't make excuses for it either. She tells it as it is and its up to you to determine how you're going to take it.

The confident woman, will be able to take criticism from anyone, including her signficant other or her superior and not break a sweat. The confident woman, understands that sometimes she isn't right, but she's not going to show any signs of weakness to anyone, even though it is her spouse or lover.

There are so many things that go into being confident. I am on my way there. There is so much to learn about being confident. I am taking each step to making myself the most confident woman I know. Joyce Meyer, writes a book on how to throw away insecurities. I think I am going to invest in it. ABC News took an excerpt from the book. :



  • The confident woman know that she's loved.

  • The confident woman refuses to live in fear.

  • The confident woman avoids comparisons.

  • The confident woman does not say "If only" and "What if"

  • Ways to become confident:

  • Break away from other's expectations.

  • Learn to cope with criticism.

  • Have an opinion.

  • Refuse to pretend.

I am taking these little thing and adding them to my everyday life. Ladies, if you're looking for that extra something to make you more confident, look into these little things, it seems to make a world of difference.

Frustration


I think I've had my breaking point when it comes to the opposite sex. I think that I am just going to call it quits for a while and just take it easy. I know that sometimes a woman must do what she needs to, to get what she wants but I think that there needs to be a happy medium when it comes to certain things.


I have been trying to get myself out of the friend zone with the guy that I am interested in. I have been making the conscious effort to actually talk to him and to see if he wants to be more than just friends, but it seems that now I am the persuer instead of the persuee.. I don't like to chase men, I don't think that I need to. I think I've dropped enough hints and "dimes" for him to know that I am interested in taking this farther than just the friend roll.. But I think that he is either ignoring me or he is really dense which would be a turn off for me anyway.


I called mr. "Friend Zone" and asked him out to dinner. In hopes that this would open the doors of communication. I was thinking that maybe if I asked him out on a date that he'd see that I was looking to step outside of the "Friend Zone" box and maybe start something. I feel like I'm the man in this but I don't care. I wanted this guy to know that I was interested so I'm going to put myself out there.


Me: Hey you, whats up? How was your day?

Him: Eh, long boring day, you know how it goes

Me: Um, so I wanted to know if you weren't busy on Friday (the 27th), maybe we could go out and grab some eats?

Him: Yeah, that sounds good. You know where you'd wanna go?

Me: Uh, yeah there's this cool place in Williamsburg called Sea, wanna go there

Him: Yeah, sounds good.

Me: So Friday it is?

Him: Yeah, sounds good.


That happened a week ago, and homeboy has yet to call me back! Ok, I know I sound a bit much but I was hoping that he'd call me back to confirm our date or whatever. Though its the beginning of the week I think he'd want to make sure that the plans were still on. I don't like this feeling. I feel like I have lost all control of myself. As a woman who sometimes, ( I used the word sometimes very loosely) has composure I'm trying not to call him and ask him whats up. The rational side of me says that "Hey he remembered and is just going to wait it out till Friday and meet to go out." Then, there is the irrational side of me that says, " Woman if you don't call him and see if he is dating some next chick and you make an ass out yourself thinking that he remembered Friday." UGH, I hate this up and down roller coaster that I have to deal with when dating.


Living in NY is not easy. The men here are so hard to come by. Ok, let me rephrase that, the GOOD MEN are hard to come by. I usually meet the guys that I have no interest in. The ones that are unmotivated, uncoordinated, and unreliable... ALL UNATTRACTIVE! You really don't run into well spoken, well dressed, ambitious young men who aren't out to just screw you every chance they get, in NY. I think this guy suits my character. He's ambitious, and goal oriented, and most importantly he's GOD FEARING... I love a man who knows the WORD! But, again I am placed in the FRIEND ZONE, because of my love for sports and anything that is usually male dominated! I don't want to call him, I REFUSE to call him. He knows that I asked him out so I am thinking (yes I know its assuming, but I really don't want to show that I am making an ass out of myself) that he maybe waiting for me to call him back with confirmation of our "pseudo-date." Why can't he call me? Why can't he make sure that its still on?
I'm beginning to think that this was not a good idea, and that I am just wasting my time and that I should just move on with myself and not worry.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (ok, I feel better)

Friend Zone


Question? Have you ever been placed in the "friend zone" after you've started talking to a guy that you found to be interesting? What I mean is, you and a guy that you like, and by like I mean you want to get to know on a more personal level begin to talk on a regular basis, the conversations are stimulating and you're able to converse with him about a multitude of things. You and him talk about sports and cars and all the things that "guys" like and all of a sudden you see that the passion that was there has started to dwindle and that the person that you used to like has become a good male friend instead of a love interest.


This has happened to me on several occasions. There would be a guy that I like and he would have the greatest conversation skills. We would begin to talk and then the question of things that I liked to do would come up. I would tell him and when the topic of sports came up he would automatically go insane because I knew stats and other things that most of my female friends wouldn't know. This would lead to hours and hours of conversation which I thought was a good thing, until weeks pass by and the getting to know you and dates no longer come up and all of a sudden your conversations begin and end with trash talk.
There was this one guy that I started talking to and he would talk to me everyday. I thought it was going good because of the constant conversations, but at the end he would tell me that reminded him of his friend instead of a girl that he was interested in. This pisses me off so much. I get so upset with it because of the fact that I was looking for someone to be with instead of someone to add to my friends list. I don't need anymore male friends. I don't need anymore guys to add to my friends list. If that was what I was looking for there would be no reason for me to give you my phone number. But, unfortunately enough for me that wasn't what happened!
I had to really get to the bottom of this situation because if this continued I'd have a multitude of male friends instead of a real boyfriend. I had to ask one of my many male friends what the deal was.
Me : Dre why don't guys want to be with me in a girlfriend way after I tell them I'm into sports?
Dre: Because you're not a real girl
Me: WTF????
Dre: Seriously, the reason is because in the beginning the guy just wanted to have sex with you, but when he realized that you were so cool they don't want to take advantage of you
Me: Are you serious?
Dre: Yeah, guys are like this. If he was interested before he just probably wanted to just sleep with you but after he started talking to you and getting to know you and found that you had a brain and knew sports his instant erection went away and he doesn't want to do that, cause you're a nice girl. Someone he could watch the game with, and not get distracted
Me: hmmmmm, thanks dre
Why is that if a female can talk the same things a guy can and is interested in a lot of the same things that he is, why must she be placed in the friend zone. How do you get yourself out of being put in the friend zone. Many of my female friends have not ever been put in the friend zone. They have never had to deal with the rejection that I had to endure because of my love for quarters and innings and periods. Many of them had never had to have the talk about just being friends.
Was this just happening to me? This is not possible. There is no way that I was the only one that was placed in the "friend zone" I don't believe that I was the only one. I asked my friend KP and she let me know that she was also put in the friend zone a couple of times. This had to be some kind of parallel universe. My friend KP was an awesome woman, why would any guy put her in the friend zone. I'm a bit upset because this guy that I was talking to I wanted to be with and thought that something was really going to happen, but instead I'm in the friend zone. UGH, life..this sucks

Name meaning

Wow, 2 posts in one day. This is new for me. I have to thank my blogger friend eb the celeb for having this because I had to find out about myself. I have to admit this is so on point. Soooo me!







What Nelly Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.



You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.







Now for my real name. The name that my mother gave me. I think that these people have met me because this is uncanny. I can't believe how much a name relates to a person.

What Yves-Nelly Means
You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you.
You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night.
Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.



You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.



You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.



Being / Becoming A Good Woman


I had to borrow this one from my other blog. I have been going through some serious changes lately and I just felt that this post made a lot of sense to me. These last couple of months away from blogger have been very hard. I had someone in my life that wanted 100% of my time and it came to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt like I lost my sense of self and it took me a couple of days to figure out what had happened. When I came back I found that what I thought was missing was just misplaced. So I did some searching and found this. It hit home... so here it goes

"The end of 2007 wasn't a good one for me. I thought that I had a lot of things under control but I thought wrong. I started questioning myself as a woman. I wonder why I make the decisions that I do knowing that they may not be to my benefit. In the last 7 years I've made so many mistakes, many of them have helped me grow into the woman that I am today but a lot of them have put a damper on my thoughts for the next 7 years.

It is usually said that the number 7 means the finality of it all. And new beginnings start with 8, so I'm hoping that all the old baggage and drama and self conflicting issues have ended with the end of 2007 and 2008 with bring joy and happiness. As usual my email inbox is filled with well wishes for the new year and hopes of prosperity and joy and all that jazz.

But of course my friend KR sends me the best email of them all.Sometimes the life of a woman can get to her. Sometimes we question ourselves as women, we question our motives and our choices that we make. Sometimes as a woman you wonder how much your emotions have to do with your choices and why things couldn't be simpler? I myself, have been the biggest judge on things that I have done. Though I try to learn from the past and not make the same mistakes, I've fallen victim numerous of times to things that I have done and redid without thinking it thru.My friend KR sent this message to me at the right time.

I needed something like this to cheer me up and help me see the brighter side of things. I realize though I make a million mistakes it only makes me a better woman. I am not perfect, but what makes me more likeable and personable are my flaws. They are what will enable me to be empathetic and sympathetic to others. And because I'm in and one with God I know that all will be well.So I write this blog for women who are ever in doubt of who they are. Any woman who may be in need of a quick pick me up. Whatever the circumstance or problem always remember you are a good woman!

A good woman knows God.
A good woman is proud of herself.
She respects herself and others.
She is aware of who she is.
She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind.
She is quite capable of articulating her needs.
A good woman is hopeful.
She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true.
She knows love, therefore she gives love.
She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated.
If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.
A good woman has a dash of inspiration and a dabble of endurance.
She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them.
A good woman knows her past, understands her present and moves toward the future.
She knows that with God the world is her playground, but without God she will just be played.
A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past.
Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love.


To all my good women out there, do not hold on to what was, but press on to what will be. Keep strong in faith and love and understand that the mistakes that we make is what molds us to who we will eventually become. We are all good women, it just takes sometime to realize it.