Facebook.. NO MORE

I've been debating it for sometime but I finally decided to do it. I was wondering if I could do it or if I would do it and tonight I took the jump and deactivated my Facebook account.

It was a long time coming but I think the time is right for me to just take some time away from this social media website. Not only does it consume many hours of my life and is involved in many facets of my life, but it has been the source of a lot of my anger lately.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a very happy person. I am what my friends call a person who always sees the good in others and the one who wants to be the keeper of the peace, but lately with Facebook I have found that, that peace was not within my own reach. The longer I stayed on Facebook, and read people's posts and read the comments about people's posts the angrier I become.

I know that this world isn't a happy place, and humans aren't all nice people who look out for one another despite race, or nationality or ethnic background or sexual orientation. I know this, but I was hoping that people ( mainly my friends or people I associate with) would have a heart and understand that we are a society that is changing and evolving and we need to be more tolerant of other people.


I Quit.. It just occurred to me. I don't know how it happened or when it happened but I have come to the realization that I am a quitter. I give up when it gets hard, or when I am comfortable or make believe that I am comfortable. I just stop doing what I know I should do, so yeah I am a quitter!!!  UGH!!!

I know what you're probably thinking. You're thinking that I am quitting this blog because it is too much for me and I can't maintain what I started and let me tell you, you know what YOU'RE...  you're wrong.  Ha ha ha.. I couldn't help myself.

That's not what I am talking about. I am talking about the fact that I am a quitter. Yep! That's what I am, a QUITTER!! I give up on almost everything that I start. I don't know why that is, but I find that often when I begin something I don't usually follow it through to the end. Well  unless it's school or my job but everything else I quit.

Only 26 days late,

I was really considering terminating this blog. I mean I don't come on here and when I do its to give lame excuses as to why I haven't blogged in a long time. I was really considering just letting it go, but then I thought or rather I remembered why I created this blog and what purpose it served for me. I remember when I used to work for the library and my good friend Kelly ( who has since stopped blogging) got me into blogging. At first I thought it would be just a good space for me to write down my thoughts and to just vent and possibly make some online friends. I didn't think that I would take to it and really invest in it like I did.. that was almost 10 years ago. I have come and gone off of this blog because I let it go. I just didn't know what to write about anymore. I felt that my life had gotten into a routine and there was nothing that interesting to write about so what was the point. I just couldn't bring myself to delete this site because I thought that I would come back and pick up where I left off.. YEAH RIGHT!! It has been almost 10 years and going back and looking at the posts there are years on here where I have only wrote one post, an that post was to say that I was going to try and write more posts.. BULL****!

Where are all my friends?

I have come back to blog many many times since the first time I started this blog. I have taken breaks and hiatus' but I have always come back. Recently I noticed in my blog roll that the people that I used to follow and comment on their blog haven't updated their blogs in months if not years. It begs me to ask, what happened to all my blogging people?

When blogging first started, I believe this had to be early in the 2000's everyone was doing it. I was afraid of putting myself out there at first, and thought I would follow a bunch of people and read what they wrote and commented, having my own was a scarey thing. I've said this many times but I started blogging in 2007. A friend, who was also a blogger, convinced me that writing out my thoughts would do me justice. I figured, eh why not. I took the leap of faith and did it, and boy oh boy I became hooked. The only issue was finding things to blog about. I was never concerned with gaining a following, though I later realized that I secretly wished that I had, I just wanted to free my mind of things. I first started blogging about relationships and boys that co-workers and other things that I found interesting. I would also go and read many others blogs.
I enjoyed doing that because it gave me a chance to get to know others through another avenue and then it also allowed me to see that I wasn't the only one who enjoyed sharing thoughts with the world.

Revol... no its Resol.. its actually the same thing.

Remember when you were a kid and people would ask what your new year resolution was and you would say, "Well my new year REVOLUTION is..." and then you'd get corrected that the word wasn't revolution but actually RESOLUTION. Remember that?


Well, anyway yeah never happened to me either. I heard it from my friend that, that was what used to happen to her and I didn't want to leave her out there thinking that it was only her that went through these issues, you know I was being supportive and what not.

Anyway, back to REVOLUTION and RESOLUTION. I was thinking about what I had proposed would be some resolutions for this year, and I also thought about the younger me who used to say revolution (yeah it was me), and wondered why  it couldn't be a revolution?

Was I wrong when I said I had a new year revolution? Do I not want to revolt against what I did the previous year and make a better me in the new year? The answer to all of these questions is definitely yes. I mean why wouldn't I want to be better than I was before? Isn't that the whole part of putting these things out in the atmosphere and also social media?

New Year.. New...

First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! WOW,  I cannot believe that its already 2015! Time has flown by so quickly. I remember when I first wrote my entry onto this blog, it will be 8 years come this fall I think, well, I believe it was during the fall that I started this blog. Anyway, I am glad and thankful to see another year. I am grateful for all that has happened in 2014, because I know it is to prepare me for 2015.

I have gone many many years without making new year resolutions. I refuse from making them because I know that will go the first couple of weeks with my resolutions but then I will slack off and not even look back at what I had planned. This year though I feel like I should try one more time, I mean seriously try and make a conscious effort to get these resolutions accomplished. 

I have thought about this long and hard.  These things don't just come to you all willy nilly and boom that it. I really had to think about this, I asked myself some questions, things like: what is is that I really want to make happen,  what things are definitely in MY control for 2015? 

No babies...

I remember when I was younger and thought that I wanted to be a mother with 6 kids. I wanted to have a large family primarily because I am an only child and I always believed that it was a lonely life. I have always said that I would not want to raise a child by him/herself because I believe they would be missing out on something.

Then there was a time where I thought I didn't want to have children because of the amount of hard work and time that they would need. I remember thinking that if I don't have children maybe I can live my life as I want it, I can travel and see the world. I think I even told my mom about not wanting children, which she promptly told me was not going to happen because she was praying to God that I do have kids. I asked her ¨What if I don't want kids? What if I want to live my life without children?¨ My mother promptly told me that I was being selfish by saying that. How was I being selfish by not wanting to have children? I thought she was crazy by saying this. But I soon found out that she wasn't the only one that felt this way.