Its Ok

ON Fb (facebook) there are these apps that you click on to give you words of inspiration or something to make you laugh, so ON this sunday when I was out with fam, and enjoying my time I clicked on "Know it all's" fb page and she had words from God, or rather thoughts from God.. SO I clicked and this is the message that I recieved.

God wanted me to know ... that it's OK. Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in the core of your being, there is pure silence, pure love. And ... it's ... just ... OK.

I'm so happy about this message. It was right on time. There are times when you wonder about things and ask if things are going to be ok. Or you ask God how will you know if things will be ok? You ask for signs and words to help you through the day, and look he answered my prayers. I needed these words to settle into my spirit. I needed something to tell me that things were going to be ok. That no matter what is placed in my way and that no matter how many tears I've shed things are going to be ok, and to just be still and trust in him, and that is exactly what I'm going to do. Because everything is OK!!

You can't choose your family but...

The saying is that you can't choose your family but you can always choose your friends and when you do choose please choose wisely. But, what happens when you wish that you could choose your family? Or when your friends treat you, and care for you more than your family would? What happens then?

Yesterday, after a day of being grossed out by the most annoying person (see my FB status) I had a long drawn out conversation with one of my students.

One of the jobs of being an educator is that you are also a counselor to your students and you have to always be there to listen. But, moving along...I have been watching this young lady and I noticed how angry she has been. She always seems like she's at odds with everyone and yesterday after speaking to one of her friends she decided to talk to me and explain why she's been so angry.

The girl hates and I use this term just as harsh as she did.. she HATES her mother and her family members. I know many of you have this puzzled look on your face, and I know that I did also. I asked myself, "how can someone hate their mother?" How can someone just say that about the person that carried them for 10 months, its impossible. I initially thought that she meant that she was unhappy with her mother but after her explanation I found out that it wasn't an unhappiness she had with her mom, the girl had genuine hate for her mother.

Her take on this is that her mother had 3 kids by 3 different fathers knowing that these men would not be in their lives after they were born. She feels that her mother should've known better than to keep having children with men who were there for a moment instead of a lifetime. She tells me in minor details the problems she has with her mom, her main point is that her mother is selfish. "What mother would rather spend time with her girlfriends instead of her 3 children? The anger is so intense that as she's telling me why she's been the way has she has a tinge of sadness in her voice. My student harbors so much hate that it makes her seem so removed and unhappy when at this age in life she's supposed to be enjoying the moments of being a H.S. senior.

I remember my senior year, my concern at this time was graduating and prom and finding a date but this girl its finding a job so that she can buy a coat so she won't freeze when the winter months come. I want to tell her that things are going to be ok, and that she should go to college away so that she can do things for herself, but I can't. I can't give that advice to her because its not my place to tell her that. I tell her that college will be different, I say that if she plans to go away things maybe different and many of my friends have done it. But she says that she can because she wants to take care of her little brother because her mother seems not to want to do that.

How does someone's family make them more upset than their friends. I know that some friends are family. I know that sometimes when things go wrong it is a friend that comes to the rescue but I am just shocked that this is happening to such a young girl. These kids of ours have to be protected, and if its not the ones who carried them in their womb who wants to protect them, who will?

There is a fine line when it comes to teaching, and I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but I don't want to leave her hanging because she did come to me to talk. I want to help her in any way I can... but first the initial thing I know I will do is FIND THIS GIRL A JOB and a COAT!

Family, can't choose them so what to do with them?

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

Today is my 28th Birthday!!



woohoo!!

Stay tuned for pictures and other surprise randomness that will happen today!

To do or NOT to do!! Internet Dating!!!

I remember going out on a date with a guy I met over a phone chat thing years ago ( I want to say maybe 4 or 5 years.) He and I had linked on this phone thing that my bestie had introduced me to. I was bored (yeah you know the drill) and I called and we connected and talked and we thought that it would be good to finally come together and meet up. When we met for the first time I was so disappointed.

Back in those days the first questions asked on a chat was age/and how do you look. Home boy told me was 5'10 brown skin and built. He stated that he worked out and was an avid gym goer. But the day I MET HIM.... Jesus be a video-recorder!! He didn't look like he said he looked. Homey ended up being 5'3 (shorter than I am) and he wasn't as nice as he was on the phone.. To add insult to injury he was just head and shoulders (NO NECK) then he was rude when we were walking in the street. I had no doubt that he probably wasn't interested in me, as much as I was disinterested in him, but hey no reason to be a D**k about it, but again that was some years ago...

Fastfoward to today 2009.. The internet has become THE way to find that person that you hope to be your "soul-mate," "bedroom buddy," or "bf/gf for right now!" After my last encounter with Mr. Head (thats what he will be refered to now) I became a skeptic of finding love over the net or even over the phone. I heard recently that Essence Atkins (Half and Half) got married to this man that she met off of Match.com Really?? I would've never thought that a hollywood superstar... (well a used to be hollywood superstar) would need help in finding a man, but again its 2009 and times have gotten tough on just about everyone so eh, why not here.. yet and still I'm a skeptic...

So, my friend met this guy on the internet. She didn't sign up on a dating site, she met him because he mailed her to ask about something with his admissions application. She works at a prestigous university and he was seeking admissions for his Masters and emailed to ask her about the follow up. She emailed him instantly and thats where their internet fling began.

The emails turned to a phone call, and then it went back to emails. She tells me that they'd email each other every day. She'd send him little notes through out the day just to say hello. He did the same. He spoke about them meeting up to go out on a date, and wining and dining a lot of good things being exchanged b/w the two of them.

They make plans to go out because the suspense of meeting is killing them. She says that they exchange pictures and stuff over the net (ahh the perks of technology) they like what they see and decide to meet up soon. The emails continue and what not then all of a sudden BLAM... no more emails. She says she went away because there was something that needed to be done with the family, but she still kept in contact. When she gets back to work the emails have ceased. No more phone calls either. She decides to call him, and he doesn't pick up. She sends him email and he doesn't respond. Now my friend says that she's over guys for right now. She doesn't want to deal with any right now. She's a bit heart broken because of this dude. She says she will never try to internet date again. Now I know that she doesn't mean that because she will try again, she's just going through the motions but I'm thinking... can you really find love over the net???

Still a skeptic!!

But as I am getting older! My birthday is TOMORROW, I do want to find love.. should I make that jump and at least give it an actual TRY???

All Men are Dogs!!??!!

The day old saying by a lot of women is that all men are dogs! Women scorned by cheating boyfriends or husbands are quick at the mouth with this phrase and it makes some women wonder if it is true. Are all men dogs?

Yesterday, while I was enjoying my day off (Perks of Being a NYC teacher) my bestie calls me and tells me to log on to facebook because there is something that I should see. I do so and I watch this video that was posted on her page. I instantly click share and put it on mine because the message on it is so true. In the video this young lady talks about the notion that most women think that men are dogs.

She says that we women have lists with things that a man should posses but then turn around and that same woman doesn't have what she has on her list for her definition of a good man. The video goes on and the lady says that for a woman to find herself a good man she needs to be in love with herself. Not just any kind of love, but a deep passionate love. A love that knows no limits and only then will she be able to find a man for her.

I found this video to be so inspirational, and so true. SO many women are quick to point blame and point fingers at what this man doesn't have or what this man does have and why she can't find one and the reason why she is single, but in essence she's the one that has the issues. She's the one that is lacking and that's the reason's why she can't find a good man.

SO many women need to take a good look at themselves. They need to reevaluate their lists and their criteria. Some need to understand that certain things are attainable only if they possess them. This isn't to say that many man aren't messed up, that's the last thing I'd say. What I will say is that if you're searching for Gold, I am hoping that you yourself are as good as GOLD!

Though this video is specifically directed at women I think both genders need to take a look at themselves. Both men and women need to step back and take a good long look in the mirror. (Listen to Michael Jackson "Man in the Mirror") They need to take a good look at themselves and ask themselves "The things I am asking for in a mate, do I possess these things also?" Many will say yes but in actuality the answer will be NO!

What do you think?

Something to think about Sunday!!

Love is pure and limitless, but it can't exist if there is hate! Learn to love, love to learn, and hate will have no place where you exist!

Peace and Blessings!!

Sunday Sermon!

Its been a while since I've gone to church. Ok, honestly its a little over 5 months.. Alright, let me be honest.. I haven't stepped foot into a church since Easter and we all know when that was right.. But, I do believe in God and know that he's real and understand that he longs for me to worship him in his home. Lately I've been feeling that my place of worship has lost its spunk, its zeel.. I've been feeling out of touch with the place that I've called home since I came to this country 23 years ago. I've made so many excuses as to why I haven't gone to church I tell people I will go, but I have to find a new place to worship. Then I'd stay home and do nothing (like I did today) So I've come to the conclusion that I just need to get up and go find a new church or I just need to get over my stupidity and just go back to feed my spirit.

I am born and raised Catholic, have done all the sacraments and love my faith. I've been saved because he loves me, and I love him. Many people believe that being saved requires you to change religions, but that's the furthest from the truth. Being saved means that you acknowledge who God is and understand his unfathomable presence in your life, and you make Him the CENTER of everything that you do. That's what being saved means. I just have to find my way into his SAVING GRACE.. its taking me some time to get back on my feet with that but slowly I rise up. Like Donnie McClurkin sings "A saint is just a sinner who fell down, and then got up."

I didn't make it to church today, though my church gives you many chances to go throughout the day, I just slept. When my mom got home we had a talk. We spoke about God and his presence in our lives. I told her about a weird dream I had and it came to me.. I miss going to church. I miss hearing the sermons and the readings. I miss learning and delving into my bible and finding meaning to a sometimes meaningless thing. I miss understanding new meanings to a passage that I've read a million times over. I miss how my spirit felt fed when I left my church. I miss how I would tell people how different my church was from other Catholic churches. How much fun I had and how I danced to the drums and the guitars and how the choir sounded magnificent. In all honesty I can say it I Missed going to church....

So next Sunday this sinner will definitely get up!